Memorial Day 2014

memorial-photo

“At a time when too many of our institutions have let us down, they exceed all expectations. They’re not consumed with personal ambition. They don’t obsess over their differences. They focus on the mission at hand.” (Barack Obama)

In the quote above, the “they” our Commander-in-Chief refers to is the U.S. Armed Forces. I mean: of course

But now, with yet another Memorial Day looming, this presents me with a genuine conundrum: How in the world can I pick which indomitable defenders of liberty to honor this year? 

Perhaps I can spend my day in quiet contemplation of those valiant heroes who unselfishly risk the agony of carpal tunnel syndrome as they courageously push the buttons and computer keys to launch cruise missiles and predator drones at brown-skinned Third Worlders with unpronounceable names. 

I owe my liberty to those who “don’t obsess over their differences”…

However, I could instead dedicate my Memorial Day to hanging yellow ribbons for the gallant warriors who altruistically put their feet and toes on the line each time they repeatedly kick a prone, chained, and blindfolded prisoner—I mean “enemy combatant”—at the military detention center at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba (“Gitmo”). 

These resolute democracy-spreaders also expose their vocal cords to excruciating injury when they engage in the selfless daily practice of screaming at such evildoers. 

And one can only imagine the immense mental strain of conjuring up novel racist-sexist-homophobic epithets each and every day—day after day, year after year. 

Thanks to their noble sacrifices, I am free…

But, then again, let’s fact it: The epic exploits of America’s latest generation are nothing new. This country was built on centuries of similar deeds and efforts. 

Remember: The U.S. would never be able to spread its values all over the planet without those mercenaries—I mean, fearless men and women—who volunteer to be paid to make it all happen. 

Could anyone possibly imagine what life on Earth would be without the pervasiveness of true American values being spread those “not consumed with personal ambition”?

So, my fellow patriots, let’s grill up some flesh ripped from the corpse of a tortured sentient being, down a few cans of genetically modified chemicals and sugar, and wave the Made-in-China flag of freedom to honor those who “focus on the mission at hand” and “exceed all expectations.”

If we don’t, the terrorists win…

#shifthappens

(Order Occupy this Book: Mickey Z. on Activism here)

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